Lesson learned

I made a mistake this past Tuesday. I used way too many of my 'spoons' and exerted myself to the point where now, two days later, I'm still not fully recovered. I'm agitated and anxious and extremely tired. Right now all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry, and when I leave work in an hour and a half, I may just go do that. This "new normal" is something I'm still trying to figure out on a daily basis.

If you haven't read the spoon theory, you can find it Here. Alicia sent it to me last year and it is the absolute best description of what it's like to live with an illness, all while you look completely healthy and normal. Basically, you get a certain number of spoons in a day and any activity you choose to do costs you a spoon. Some days you can borrow spoons from a different day, but with the realization that you'll be able to do less on that day you borrowed from.

Well, on Tuesday I went to my normal CrossFit class at 8am. I worked up to a heavy weight for my push press, and got sweaty during the 4 rounds for time. After that, I ate a hearty breakfast and went off for a short hike with my friend Kim. I don't think the trail we walked was more than 4 miles, and it's relatively flat. Then I got back home and ate a decent lunch. At 2:30, my friend Rachel came over and we went for another hike. This hike was less forgiving, and had some steep hills. My glutes were tired and achy from the squats I'd done the day before, but again, the hike itself was pretty manageable. We had shade and a good view, and it's always nice to catch up with Rachel. After we left there, I packed my gym bag and headed back to my box for an Olympic lifting class. We practiced cleans and I attempted squat cleans for the first time, managing to get up to a decent weight at 105 lbs. I had steak for dinner, and then my mom came over to help me pick up some patio furniture I had bought. We got back to my apartment, and unloaded the set, hauling it up my flight of stairs. The chairs were light, but I could tell my body was exhausted.

I was hoping for a really good night of sleep just based on how tired I was, but as my luck would have it, I barely slept. I woke up the next morning with a really bad Charlie horse in my right calf. I was also exhausted and knew I needed to listen to my body and rest a little. I skipped my morning workout, opting only to go to the power lifting class at night. I got to the gym, and during my warmup I was getting scolded by another gym member about not clapping my hands together on my jumping jacks. In addition to that, he gave me shit for not doing the regular WOD. I tried to explain that I had done a lot of activities the day before and was tired, but instead of compassion, I got teased by him and the coach. "Are you complaining to me about being tired from a workout? Really?" I know they were joking, and usually I can take it, but I was getting cranky and told them to just drop it, and they stopped.

I ended up hitting a decent new record for my front squat last night, 20 lbs heavier than my last attempt, and 5 lbs over my current body weight. It felt good and I'm enjoying the process of getting stronger. But, again, I probably used too many spoons for the second day in a row. Fast forward to now, where I am extremely tired and irritable. There are other things going on in my life at the moment that are currently contributing to my anxiety, but upon reflection of how much I've exerted myself over the last few days, I know I need to take it down a little and rest. I learned my lesson and won't be doing two hikes and two workouts and moving patio furniture all in the same day. I'm not superman (as much as I'd sometimes like to think I am.) I need to remember to still take care of myself.