But not for me. Today is my birthday, and I'm 29. It's my last year in my 20's, and I'm actually really looking forward to it. For me, life has only gotten better after 25. Yes, you read that right. Life has only gotten better.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely struggled. I've agonized over the "why me?" of getting breast cancer at 27. I've had my heart broken several times over. I've gone back and forth with my decision to quit grad school. Life hasn't always been easy or kind to me, but I'm at this place now where I am immensely happy. I know I've typed this before, but I wake up every single day with a smile on my face, grateful to be alive. Every single day is something new and amazing, and I'm so incredibly thankful to be able to experience whatever life has in store for me.
27 was supposed to be my golden year. I thought everything was falling into place. I had several interviews lined up for the job I wanted in a tough field. I was madly in love with someone who I thought I was going to have a future with. I was making every effort to live a positive lifestyle, and be grateful. Then I found a lump, and got diagnosed. I feel like life dealt me the shittiest card, and from there it was a domino effect. I held onto that positive outlook for as long as I could throughout treatment, but it was hard. My doctors and nurses were all impressed with me, because I was determined that this was only one chapter of my story. I refused to let it define me. I refused to think that my life was over, even though, some days, that thought admittedly did slip through the cracks. I lost that person I loved. Or rather, he abandoned me. In a time where I needed someone to step up to the plate, he threw in the towel. I did eventually get the job I had worked so hard towards, but it was incredibly difficult working and going through treatment.
28 got better. It started with me joining CrossFit WIT and getting my health back on track. I got my ass handed to me for that first workout, and then I kept showing up for more. I lost 10 pounds of my chemo weight, I finished radiation, I finished my herceptin infusions, and got my portacath removed. I started to use my story to advocate for young women with breast cancer. I won a contest with the Young Survival Coalition and a video of mine was highlighted. I won a local essay contest for Bay Area Cancer Connections in which the essay I wrote was published in their newsletter. A picture of mine has been highlighted on breastcancer.org, and also by Barbells for Boobs. Breast cancer helped me find my voice. It has helped me try to do some good in this shitty situation, and I've had people from all over the world reach out to me about my experience.
This year, I've also had the opportunity to travel more than I ever have before. I went to Atlanta in March for the YSC conference, then Disneyland in April, then Maui for a cancer retreat. I'm heading back to Atlanta this weekend, and then the biggest trip of the year is Costa Rica in September!
I look back at all this and I realize that without my struggles, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strengths. I am so proud of the person I've become. I look in the mirror and I'm happy with the reflection. Every single day is a gift, and I plan on savoring and appreciating each moment. 29 is going to be the best year yet. I can feel it.
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